Scientists have identified 50
individuals who are able to spot deception with great accuracy after testing
more than 15,000 people. Eyes for Lies is one of the 50 people.
More
Eyes kept score on her blog for 7.5 years and had an accuracy rate of 95%
after identifying truth and deception in
38/40 people
before the truth was known by watching media clips. A record comparable to none.
Eyes for Lies is not psychic.
I could literally write a book on the hotspots of Manti Te'o. Here are a couple of my favorite ones. It's Manti talking to Katie Couric yesterday. Katie Couric said, "Was this intoxicating for you, in a way, Manti?
Mantireplied, "I think, for me, the only thing that I basked in was that I had an
impact on people; that people turned to me for inspiration. And I think
that was the only thing I focused on."
He continued...
"My
story, I felt, was... a guy who.... in
times of hardship and in times of trial, um, really held strong to his faith, held
strong to his family, and I felt that
was my story."
What is so interesting about this statement is that he talks about his life as a "story". A story is usually a tale, or plot.
Notice how he doesn't talk in first person about himself. He suddenly is a character: A guy, not "me" or "I". Who talks like this about themselves? This is highly unusual byitself.
Isn't it odd how he sums up everything that happened to him so easily after being through so much trauma? Most people can do that after what he's been through, but he sure can see clearly, can't he? It's his plot: "a guy who in times of hardship and in times of trial, held strong to his faith...and family."
Is that what his story is really about, or was that what he was "selling" us?If I didn't know any better, I'd have no idea that he was a man who was scammed by one of the most embarrassing scams of a lifetime: a man impersonating a woman and he falls for it and in love, and he doesn't even rank that? It's laughable, if one is to believe this is true!
“I kind
of tailored my stories
to have people think that yeah, he
met her before she passed away so people wouldn’t think I was some crazy dude.”
"He" being "Te'o". There he goes again talking about stories and characters!!! Clearly, Te'o knows how to use first person just fine when it comes to real experiences -- when people might think "I was some crazy dude."
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If you didn't see Dateline on Sunday night, and you are a parent of a teenager, I highly recommend it. If there is one group of people who I meet who consistently tell me they are good at spotting lies, its moms. They watch their children lie and feel confidentially they can call it out, but in the presence of many, I can tell you they don't see the clues as often as they think they do, and often misjudge the situation.
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This is a fascinating video of Tyler Hamilton talking about Lance Armstrong and doping in the sport of cycling. I suspect we are going to get a big spread of opinions when asked, "Do you believe Tyler Hamilton?" Check back this week for my analysis.
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I watched Ingrid Betancourt on Oprah this week. She was running for the President of Columbia in 2002 when she went into an unsafe area controlled by leftist guerrillas against the advice of her security experts, and she was kidnapped and kept in a Colombian jungle for six years as a hostage. She is now doing a media tour to kick off the release of her book, "Even Silence Has an End."
While she went through an absolutely horrific ordeal that no one should ever have to endure, I was troubled by what the other hostages and her campaign running mate said about Betancourt. Clara Rojas, Betancourt's vice presidential running mate and campaign manager, said that Betancourt's book is full of "lies and spite".
In watching Betancourt's demeanor on Oprah and hearing her at one point say something to the effect she believed it was her right, and then abruptly stopping as she said it...clearly self-censoring herself, I tend to believe the people who have spoken out against Betancourt.
Furthermore, Betancourt's own husband has filed divorce citing infidelity and ungratefulness. Clearly, no one stands in support of Betancourt and with that, I am surprised Oprah gave her an hour show.
From Deutsche Welle, Betancourt's own words are quite telling:
I wasn't sensitive enough to understand their despair," she writes of the other hostages who did not have her celebrity status. "I saw myself as a symbol that could be useful for all of us. I did not understand that everyone needs to have a face.
Betancourt comes across as very selfish, self-centered and arrogant. You know what I say about arrogant people... I certainly don't care to read her book.
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The International Journal of Social Robotics published an article about robots and deception earlier this month. The research was funded by the Office of Naval Research. Here is a synopsis of it written by Discovery News.
What do you think about robots deceiving us?
I think it is scary!!
Will computers take over the world as we know it one day?
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We started an interesting conversation with Cindy Anthony on deception versus denial yesterday. How can we tell when a person is being deceptive versus when they are in denial? As I thought about it, I also wondered how to differentiate delusions in all of this (outside of psychosis)?
Denial, defined by the FreeDictionary.com, is medically defined as "a primitive–ego defense–mechanism by which a person unconsciously negates the existence of a ...stress-producing reality in his environment." I've seen other places add "in the presence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary".
Delusion, defined by the Free Dictionary.com, is defined as "a belief held in the face of evidence to the contrary, that is resistant to all reason."
I feel I have a good understanding of these, but I am not able to verbalize it so I thought it would be fun to see if we as a group can narrow these down and create a list of how to determine if someone is each of these things. What differentiates each of these? What are unique attributes to each of them?
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I thought I'd ask you: What is the biggest lie you've ever been told? Do you want to share it with us? I know there are some whoppers out there...Maybe you can help others by sharing your story...
Did you see any clues to the lie? Do you see any now in hindsight that you aren't so close to the situation anymore?
I usually take off this week and I am going to be stepping away from the computer for the next few days to take a break. The hubster is off and we just plan on relaxing and enjoying ourselves. I will check messages and comments, but I may be slower to respond. I hope you understand. Sometimes its good to clear the brain and get refreshed!
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“Power, it seems, enhances the same emotional, cognitive, and physiological systems that lie-telling depletes. People with power enjoy positive emotions, increases in cognitive function, and physiological resilience such as lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Thus, holding power over others might make it easier for people to tell lies.”
Read more here. What do you think? I'll share my opinion in the comment section below.
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The other day a reader asked me for my opinion on River Cruz on my Feedback page. Cruz is the woman who claims she had an affair with George Anthony, and that George confessed to her that Caylee's death was an accident.
River Cruz supposedly had an affair with George Anthony two years ago. Supposedly authorities came to her to get the info. She says that she is not hoping to make money off of the information. Both she and her sister Skye Benhaida were interviewed. Videos of both are on WFTV. http://tinyurl.com/y... more
River Cruz supposedly had an affair with George Anthony two years ago. Supposedly authorities came to her to get the info. She says that she is not hoping to make money off of the information. Both she and her sister Skye Benhaida were interviewed. Videos of both are on WFTV. http://tinyurl.com/ykrveth
They're all short videos. Do you think that the two women are being truthful. I thought that the sister seemed to be taking delight in the whole thing on her first interview. River Cruz herself seems to want to be left alone and doesn't seem interested in getting attention for this although my guess is that she'll be happy enough if she gets some money from the tabloids in the end.
I responded two days ago on the 17th (I just see UserVoice isn't showing dates! What the heck? They used to):
These two are sending mixed messages. There is quite a bit of shoulder shrugging where I wouldn't expect to see it. This is also not a high stake lie, but I don't believe we are hearing 100% of the truth. I'd need to see more to break it all down.
There is definite interest to get money from this, if you want my opinion, from both women. Was there an affair? I am undetermined at this time.
Nancy Grace interviewed River Cruz's sister on her show on the 17th. You can read the transcript here, and River's sister denies selling the story to the National Enquirer or having interest in any money.
Yet last night on Nancy Grace, what do you suppose Nancy Grace was holding up? The National Enquirer with River Cruz's story!
Is that a hit? A success at calling out a liar? You decide. I'm pissed User Voice doesn't have date stamps anymore! We all need to complain to them to change that!
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This woman's story in what she experienced in her Toyota (how the car functioned) is exactly like what I experienced. I found this fascinating because I 100% believe her here... She's also a great study in honesty! I talk about what happened to my Honda in this post here.
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I watched Andrew Young tonight talk about Rielle Hunter and John Edwards. Wow. Just wow. That's all I can say. Stay tuned for my thoughts next week. I think some of you might be surprised at what I think...
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While you think you are doing your body a favor by eating a light dinner at a fast food restaurant, or helping shed the pounds by carting a frozen lunch from the grocery store to work, the reality according to new research is that you might be eating anywhere from 8 to 18 percent more calories than you are told on the packaging or nutritional label. That's what Susan Roberts, a professor at Tufts University, found in her latest research. Check out the article here.
While no one can say with any certainty if these are oversights, or modifications to help sell product, it definitely raises my eyebrows. When money changes hands and people depend on profits from sales to make a living, it always pays to be cautious. I am happy to hear that people are checking up on this! I feel bad for people who have medical conditions and depend on the accuracy of these labels.
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Prof Wiseman, the author of Quirkology (which I'm fairly certain I saw you mention on your blog at some point, so I think you're familiar with it) interviewed a man and had him lie once and tell the truth once. Actually, he did it several times, but this is more recent and wasn't discussed in the book. The videos are posted here.
I'm sure you can tell the difference quite easily, but it's a fun and interesting little experiment and a nice illustration of truth vs. lie in a more controlled setting. With most of the people you discuss on your blog, we only get to see the people tell it one way. This way, we get to see the same question answered truthfully and falsely. Just thought you might find it interesting!
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In my last post, I shared a comment from someone who called themselves a pathological liar. I want to say that I have no exceptional skills here to identify if this person is legit or not by these few words alone. I can only look at the words they write, like everyone else, and see if they fit with people who I have known in the past who are chronic liars. When I do that, the words written do ring true and are believable for someone who is a chronic liar. I personally don't think this comment by "Liar Liar" was a hoax.
Read morePeople who lack a conscience seem to be aware they don't feel guilt or remorse, and know they are missing this emotion. They know they are unique and different. Yet in a twisted reality, I think it is this conscious understanding of their difference that becomes their biggest tool. They seem to realize people who feel remorse, compassion and empathy are excellent targets to use in their quest to get anything their heart desires. If they can find the right people, they can target their wants and needs, and meet them twice as fast than honesty would ever allow.
I believe there are high-functioning super liars that live among us and dupe more people than we'd ever want to know. I have witnessed more than a handful in my lifetime and what makes a super liar is not only a lack of a conscience (empathy or sympathy), but a keen wit to keep facts straight and an exceptional understanding of human behavior. If one possess these three traits, they are quite dangerous, because they will lure and use most of the population without anyone being the wiser for many years, if not a lifetime. It's flat out chilling to witness.
I have witnessed normal everyday, honest, trusting smart people fall into the spell of a chronic liar/manipulator more times than I care to admit, and more often than not, with highly-skilled liars, the victims are absolutely clueless. I have seen communities rally behind these people, because they buy the lies they are fed.
I have even tried to pry open the eyes of honest people in these circumstances only to get rejected by them, because the chronic liar long ago sniffed me out as a threat, and painted me as evil before I ever spoke up. Super liars are even challenging for me. Their game plans are well thought out and executed to prevent people like me from exposing them. They are usually one step ahead of everyone, most of the time.
You must remember, these cruel people know how to role play better than everyone else in society, and they will play the parts they need to in order to accomplish their goal. They will elaborate great schemes to get what they want, because in the end they don't feel remorse. They actually get an emotional high that they outsmarted everyone and that no one is the wiser. This game of cat and mouse is what continues to drive them, and ultimately what creates their superior self-image of arrogance. It gives them great confidence, which is a natural tool to gain the trust of others. They find it fun to outwit, outplay, outlast and outsmart their opponents, and often up the ante over the years to chilling levels, because they get away with it for so long.
Think of Hitler. Think of other evil dictators who came to power. They didn't come to power being evil. The evil only surfaced once they established a trusting base that they later could manipulate.
People who are capable of great evil are the ultimate chameleons of our society. They quickly judge, assess and pick their soldiers, charting them on mission where the true motivator is disguised in fancy fluff, so they can win their personal war and achieve their personal goal with precision, speed, accuracy and ease.
But what is interesting about these people, as "Liar Liar" wrote, is that they do feel pain. They feel their own pain and that pain will often cause them to lash out with evil intent. These people are usually very vindictive, even if they do it anonymously or in private. Their pain can often be their downfall, because it fuels their desire for revenge, and revenge without a conscience is what ultimately exposes their evil deeds to the average trusting person, but often it is too late, and the victim by this point has usually paid the ultimate price.
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A reader left an interesting comment yesterday on my blog post titled Pathological Liars. I thought I would share it with you.
I will be comlpetely honest (for once). I am a liar. A Pathological liar.Some of you out there asume that we are scum and that we are evil, and that is a little too harsh to say. You must understand, when it says we have no morals...WE CANT. I really do wish that I could feel guilt, so that I might stop lying so much. I don't. I never have felt guilty for anything that I have done, I dont think that I ever will.Read more
Apperently, some people have it so bad that they don't feel other emotions as well. Which makes since, saying that me and my friend (yet another liar, there are a lot of us you know) did not cry at our friend's funeral. We lack the emotions for us to properly restrain ourselves from lying to ones we love. Emotionally though, we can feel pain. Don't think that there are some pathological liars out there that feel horrible when they hear the comments that you are writing about them. (I for one think that its funny, and i dont really care) And yes, I belive that I will probably burn in hell for this. But until then, I shall be smiling my evil little grin and crying my fake tears...lying my way easily through life. You think that it is a bad thing to be a liar. I find it wonderful. Things are so easy for me. I manipulate people to think certain things of me, others, and situations. It has been 10 years in this town, no one has ever guessed that I am lying. (most pathological liars have good enough memories to remember what they told to whom) And Honestly, I hope that there are not too many people like me. I am sinful, mean, cold hearted, maybe even souless, and I dont care at all. (I have tried therapy, but i ended up lying to the therapist...so yeah that didnt work out too well). Signed, Liar Liar
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I was out walking my dog just a little while ago on a quiet dead end street when this car drove by. I took notice because there was no one around, but didn't worry about it. I just noticed the license plates were local, and the guy behind the wheel was in his late 40s, early 50s. He had blondish hair and wide set eyes.
Read moreAs the car came back from over the hill from the direction of the dead end, I noticed the man's window was down, so I knew he was going to stop to ask me something. I was a little uneasy at this point because there wasn't a soul around. Behind me was a wooded park, and I would be between him and trees. Naturally, as he stopped, I stepped about 10 feet back and off to an angle. I don't like being approached by strangers in cars.
He looked up at me, gave a polite (fake) smile and said, "You haven't seen a loose dog around here, have you?"
"No," I replied feeling slightly uncomfortable.
"Okay", he said, scanning his rear view mirror.
"What kind of dog are you looking for?" I asked him.
"Uh, um...uh....a....Doberman Pincher," he replied scanning around.
The way he said Doberman Pincher was as if it were a question! Not good.
Why is this guy struggling to identify his dog? Why is he scanning his rear view mirror and looking around? My alarm bells were blaring, and just at that time, my neighbor appears about 40 feet away! Was I relieved!! The guy in the car notices him instantly, too.
"If I see this dog, where do you live so I can bring him back, if I do spot him?" I asked with a little more confidence since my neighbor was there.
"Well, it's actually a neighbor's dog...and I told him I'd go look around for him." At this point, he is slowly letting the car roll away from me.
I knew at this point everything this guy just said to me was a lie.
"What street do you live on?" I asked probing for more information.
He hit the breaks, but is giving me definite clues he wants to bolt. "Walberg," he told me, "about a mile and a half away."
"Don't worry about bringing the dog back," he said, "Just call the sheriff." As he saw my neighbor approach, he turned his head and put his foot on the gas and eased out of there.
Something was very off about this guy.
My neighbor and I chatted a few minutes and I told him the story. He said, "That's interesting. The guy only went up about 3 more houses and turned around. He never even went to the end of the block (which is a dead end)."
Hmmm...he is looking for a dog, and he doesn't even drive to the end of the road to see if the dog is down there, the area closest to where he tells me he lives nearest to! Also, in hindsight, he didn't say, "You haven't seen a doberman pincher loose, have you?" He saw my dog and "dog" was the first thing that stuck in his head and formed his lie. Uh!
My neighbor and I then chatted about the car, and you know, I couldn't come up with one detail about the car. My neighbor then identified it was a late blue model something, to which I replied, "I think I could identify his face, but that is all."
My skin is crawling!! I don't want to know why this guy just lied. Thank god for neighbors!!
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Naturally, you can guess, when people know I am a lie detector, one thing they do is try to fake me out with a lie, jokingly, to see if I will catch it, and my husband is no exception.
Yesterday, I was out and about with a friend, and when I came home, I asked my hubby if he sat outside and relaxed. Before I left, I told him it would do him wonders if he did, so I was hoping, when I came back, that he did just that. He needed some fresh air (after painting my office, of course!).
Read moreHe was standing over a huge, delicious pan of lasagna when I asked him, "Did you take some time to relax today?" He was looking down, trying to cut a piece and serve it.
He said very seriously, "No, I didn't."
His face was as still as a piece of wall art. I was in the dark for a second. Then he said "No, I didn't" again, and in an instant, something caused the lower portion of the center of his left eyebrow to twitch in a flash.
"Ah!," I said as I grabbed my plate of lasagna from him. "You did sit out. I am so glad to know that. Do you know your eyebrow just twitched and gave you away?"
My husband look up at me, grinned and looked left and then right and said, "It did?"
I smiled and sat down at the table to share Sunday dinner. "That was amazing," I said. "I don't think I've ever seen that one before."
Unless my husband happened to get an involuntary body twitch at the exact precise moment of his lie, there was no other explanation for him to show a sign of tension like that. I think he was working so hard to prevent himself from making any smirks or smiles that his face was so tense, it hiccuped.
So, while I couldn't be 100% certain it was a lie by his twitch only, the odds were quite high that it was, and when I told him it was and he smiled, I knew for sure that I had called it right on the money.
The odds were low that he experienced an involuntary twitch at that precise moment, and more than that, they were low because the twitch didn't repeat itself--which is common for the average twitch we all experience, without reason, from time-to-time.
I am so grateful my husband thinks that my abilities are something to poke fun at, and he is very playful about it. That is a big blessing!
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It was the summer, after my freshman year in high school, that a group of girls thought it would be fun to spend one of the last waning days of summer at Six Flags amusement park. Fearing that one of us could get separated or lost, we all decided as geeky as it was, to wear our school gym shirt, because they were purple and had our school name plastered on the front. We knew we'd stand out in a crowd and find each other if one of us happened to get lost.
I don't remember much from that day, to be honest, except that we saw some cute guys, and rode on the American Eagle roller coaster with them over and over again. One of them was really sweet and took to me, but at that age, without a car or a driver's license, you just parted ways and said goodbye. We simply shared a few laughs and shrills.
Read moreFast forward two or three months later: I was sitting in class, my sophomore year, and a staff member from the principal's office interrupted the lecture. She asked if I could be excused. Friends had been alerting me that all the girls in the school with my first name were being taken to the principal's office. At first I thought it was a joke. Now I knew better.
I specifically remember this woman, who was escorting me to the principal's office, looked at me notably strangely.
I was completely perplexed. What was this about? Did another person with my name do something wrong, and I was going to get the blame? I had to admit that I was on edge. I was never called to the principal's office before.
As we walked down the hall toward the office, she said to me, "Did you go to Six Flags this summer?"
Thinking that was odd, I said, "Yes, why?"
"Did you meet anyone there, while you were there?" she continued to question me.
I thought for a minute, "Yes. We met a couple of people from another school who were our age."
"Do you remember their names?" she inquired.
"No, not really. I think one guy's name was Mark. Why?" I questioned her again. We arrived at the office.
As we walked in the door of the office, there was a group of staff staring at me--five or six women and a couple of men whose eyes were fixated on me. They were looking at me intently. I couldn't help but feel like I was under the microscope. I felt really awkward. I couldn't figure out what this was about. Was I in trouble? For something I did over the summer? That would be crazy. What was going on?
The lady who walked me to the office said, "I think we found our girl!"
I was even more intrigued.
"Well", said the principal, "we got this letter in the mail from a guy who says he met an 'Eyes for Lies' (of course, not my real name), that he borrowed money from her, and he really wanted to contact her so he could pay her back. Here is the letter. It is quite long and involved. He wrote it to my office, and ask that we assist him in locating you. He's quite an interesting fella."
The letter was two full pages from a spiral-ring notebook.
I sat there in disbelief as Dan's photo fell out of the envelope. I remembered his name by this point, but the funny thing was, he didn't borrow any money from me. That was an outright lie.
I spoke up, "This is so strange, because I didn't lend him any money."
I couldn't help but be flattered when I read the letter, by the way it was written. So painstakingly neat, and with care and thought. Clearly this guy had a crush on me, and wouldn't let it go. I had no idea.
I couldn't believe this stranger went through so much effort to contact me again. The ladies giggled, and one said, "I think he has a huge crush on you!"
Another joined in, "Look at how much effort he went through to find you!"
"Are you going to contact him?" asked another.
I must have turned beet red. Before I answered, another one spoke. "Yes, it is funny," said a lady with red hair. "We've been talking to all the girls with your name in the school, and none of them related to the details he gave until we found you. You were the last one out of five girls, and of course, you were the right one. For a little while there, we thought maybe he had written the wrong school."
For days after that, the staff all looked at me as I walked by. You could almost hear them thinking, "Is she the girl who got that romantic love note?" You could feel the walls chattering behind me.
All the girls who shared my first name asked me what all the fuss was about, because they were not privy to why they were questioned by the principal's staff.
The teachers, as well as my friends, were all in disbelief that a guy could have such a crush on me that he would go through all this effort to locate me. They teased me that I was one lucky girl!!
Dan and I exchanged a few letters, and chatted on the phone once, but I had lost interest. Living some 20 miles a part, at that age, was just too much distance to surmount, and he sounded too monotone on the phone for me. But I must say, it was one of the most flattering lies I was ever told.
This all came back to my mind, this week, because my mom found Dan's photo in my collection of things stacked away in the basement, and happened to put it into a photo album, not knowing who he was. All the memories came flooding back when I was flipping through the album and she asked, "Who is that?" When I told her, she instantly remembered that flattering lie.
I wonder what Dan is like today. Is he a charming, assertive and successful man, or is he someone who stalks people and has intense, inappropriate crushes? I shudder at the thought.
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There is a show that ran last month in Canada (maybe you Canadian readers saw it)? It's called "The Truth About Liars", and was on the CBC. It featured both Dr. Paul Ekman and Dr. Maureen O'Sullivan. The website lists the show as a full-length video, but when you click on it, it says it is unavailable. I suspect this is because I am a U.S. viewer. However, the preview is available, and I thought you would enjoy it.
The beginning voice-over is Dr. Maureen O'Sullivan. You then get to see her. She hasn't been in many videos, but here she is! Interestingly enough, as the video closes, the voice-over is Dr. Paul Ekman. Enjoy!
ALL IDEAS AND CONTENT ON THIS BLOG ARE PROTECTED BY LAW. DO NOT COPY ANYTHING WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION. Any violations will be prosecuted to the fullest extent allowable by law.
Comment Policy: This blog is about understanding human behavior. You have the right to state your opinion if it is respectful. Disagreements are encouraged if they meet this standard. This blog is about deception and not about politics or religion--hence discussions on these topics will not be tolerated. Anyone who violates these general rules will be immediately banned. I have a zero intolerance for rude and disrespectful behavior. Permalink
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